Posted by: lanceress | February 20, 2011

Please revert my arse.

I was looking through my sister’s entry and came across this website.  Whilst my grammar is not 100%, I still cringe when some smart arse thinks they’re being clever by using the ‘big’ words thinking it makes them professional. Yes, exercise business English when you’re writing emails/letters but for god’s sake! Have you not heard of K.I.S.S?


yes that’s the abbreviation.

Have fun browsing through this website.

And I will fucking lose the plot if another Singaporean writes PLEASE REVERT at the end of their emails.

Posted by: lanceress | August 22, 2010

Oh the randomness

I could say I’ve been super busy as that sounds like a perfectly good excuse not to blog..however, that’s not going to wash is it? There are many others busier than I am and they could still make 10 more entries than I have.

Anyway.. with so many things going through my head, I can’t help but realise there were a few events that’s forever recurring in my head. Here’s a few of them.. out of thousands that are taking residence in my membrane…or what’s left of it…

Mid 90s

My secondary school mate..whom the tuckshop aunty mistaken us for sisters.. (not sure how cause I was mad and she was down to earth)

Scene: Classroom.

Fariza came up to me one day between lessons and asks..

‘ you like your name?’

‘Er yes why not?’

‘Oh that case,. I like mine as well’

*the rest of our classmates, myself included gave the most incredulous look – _- *


Scene: Watching tv with hubby one night and something struck me and I asked him..

‘What is half of one stone!!?’ <–yes exclaimanation mark there to show the shock..

‘Half a stone?’

‘Oh.. yeah okay’

Until today, he has not let that one go..


Scene: Art class..senior year..

My classmates and I were busy drawing..sketching  amidst the music blaring through our earphone (it was cool to have one earphone in and the other ear to listen to whatever else was going on and munching on chicken nuggets that we hid in our pockets..topics such as bgr naturally came up..

My art teacher then joined in the conversation and all of a sudden she went

‘I think Yasmin would be the first among you guys to get married’

Oh we laughed. I kindly informed her that she got that all wrong.

I was wrong.

P.s: I hope she’s doing well.. I miss her since she moved to the US. It would be great to catch up since I am now just across the pond from where she is.


Baizurah and I were sisters from another mother. We got on so well from when we first met. Knowing that I was a bimbo made a great ice breaker. I suppose the atmosphere where we first got to know each other made it all the most easier. Here’s one of the convo that always pop in my head..

Scene: somewhere in town..

Me: Oh yeah by the way, I am going to London end of this month.

Bai: Oh okay.

Me: Yeah so I will probably see you next Eid or something.

Bai: WTF?

Me: Oh did I not mention that I am moving there to work?

Bai: Bitch! You didn’t mention anything of sorts! And  I know this 2 weeks before you’re due to leave!!?

Me: Hmm.. I thought I did..heheeeh..

Now you see why I am the Bimbo?

Bless her.. I am surprised she’s yet to get grey hair since knowing me… or have you now? lol


Rewind all the way to when I was 5. My brother was getting ready to go to school one afternoon. As a 5 year full of self-importance, I too put on my socks seeing my brother was doing just that.

‘Abang (Big brother).. which one is the left sock and which one is the right sock?’

‘There is no left or right for socks.’


‘Cause that’s just the way it is. Do you want me to help or mum?’

‘There should be a left and a right’ I insisted..

‘No there isn’t’

‘You’re not very clever are you?’

My brother looked up dumb founded.. haha!


Another time when I was  4 ( Yes I remember alot of my childhood days)

Scene: Early morning during sahur.

I woke up amidst all the clutter that was going on at 4 am in the morning. I walked to the entrance of the kitchen and stood there.

‘Oh morning, you’e awake?’ asked my mum.

‘I cannot believe you didn’t wake me up. I want to fast!’

‘But you never fasted plus, you’re a bit young to start.’ said my mum.

‘Yes well.. that won’t sound really good when you explain to god why your daughter is not fasting is it?’

Suffice to say, my mum took my favourite plate out and prepared my food for sahur.

Later on, I woke up around 10 to have my breakfast :)


There were alot more that pops in my head from time to time… I will update them  as when :)

Posted by: lanceress | June 5, 2010

Don’t break the unspoken trust.

I wonder if we’re now past the stage where we can live our lives without Facebook? How easy would it be for you to pull that plug? Can you ever imagine life without your FB account? Or not being able to see what XYZ’s updates are for the day?

Shouldn’t you be worried that you’re actually hesitant about quitting FB? Afterall, it’s information readily available online about you, written by yours truly.

I have to say, I am actually quite bored of FB. What? you might think…yeah right.. Because you see me online everyday? Well, my mobile fb I am not having my eyes stuck like glue to the screen of my laptop waiting for someone to reply to my FB status. As much as one is able to set the privacy levels, you must know if it’s online, someone will somehow be able to get your info. There are afterall many ways to attain fb information.

Here’s my grievances about fb. You will always have a fair number of friends on your list who would love to put up every single picture they have.  You have friends who must update every second of their lives on fb and then there’s some who just cannot stop requesting that you join their mob game. Fair enough to these people. I have absolutely no problems. I have no control over what they do . It is afterall their own account right? Right.

Now here’s the crunch.. then there are some who pester you to add other people, join their group, update pictures of you. I don’t know how else to say this but I feel violated. The mere thought of people actually forgetting their manners albeit e-ettiquette just makes it awkward!  Ask once and if nothing happens, TAKE THE HINT. Badgering people to add you/your friends from Mars is pathetic. If they say No thank you, then you LEAVE it at that! Not.. reply going..oh why not? But bla bla bla bla.. How about? you get real? It’s ONLY FB FFS!

Another thing that really grinds my gears is when people EXPECT me to know what they have recently updated on FB and then got annoyed when I don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. I’m not sorry cause I’m not paid to check updates on FB. My9-5 requires me to check my email and correspond. I get paid for that. I don’t get paid  to respond to your stupid banter if I feel it’s lame or simply missed out on your update. If it’s not urgent enough to warrant a phone call or email then in all honesty it’s just fun crap isn’t it? If someone doesn’t feel comfortable about the picture you posted which includes their face and requests that you put them down, just do it. No matter how friggin fabulous your micro effects are. TAKE THEM DOWN. You have no right to post images or other people without their consent so don’t try to get all worked up and upset and pms-sey about it. It’s called Respecting other people’s rights.

I am not against technology.I embrace but I cannot stand those who abuses the silent trust.

Posted by: lanceress | March 19, 2010

Not much…

I really do wish the paper would let the ink of my pen flow…

I do

I really do.



Posted by: lanceress | January 22, 2010


I feel for my friends who are going through a rather rough time at the moment. To all going through a hard time, I shall dedicate this poem to you. You know who you are..

I hope you know, things happen for a reason.

I hope you remember there’s a light at the end of the tunnel

No matter how bleak you feel the situation to be.

I hope you remember the last few battles you’ve fought,

How scarred you came out of it.

Most of all, I hope you remember that you survived them all.

You came out of it stronger and best of all, wiser.

Look back at the past if you must

but only to remind yourself of your strengths.

As I listen to you,

you expressed defeat, loss of hope,

let me give up  were your silent unspoken plea.

I couldn’t panic with you

and tell you this is indeed the end. We don’t want to say that out loud!!

We know what the answer is.. We know what I am supposed to say.. and so I do it..

I lie

I lie to your face..

I told you it’s all going to be okay.

You’ll get out of this maelstorm

You will get through it and there will be silverlining.

I had to  because you needed me to be.

Why? I have no idea what the future holds?!! Far be it for me to

gaze into the crystal ball and give you the answer! But still…

I tell you everything is that I watch you go through yet

another battle where you fight on alone..

Here’s where the line is drawn.. between the true friend and foe..

A foe watches with glee and wishes u fail and give up for good.. and gives you

the attention needed so others think the foe was for real.

The friend is more dispassionate.. more cruel..

The friend is actually making you go through all the pain and uncertainties again

and knows what happens when you get disappointed again

and we wonder again if this time,

you emerge a victor or come back to me; the friend..your placebo

I can’t do poetry often. It happens once in a purple moon. Yes more rare than the blue moon. I just hope you will remember, distance is only a mathematical measuring tool. No matter where I am, I will always be there for you :)

Posted by: lanceress | January 9, 2010

diamonds ARE a girls bestfriend.

Wow it’s 2010.. a very bitter start to the year or should I say frosty. I have to say, 2009 didn’t leave me with much fond memories. Thanks to the economy climate that I keep bitching on. HO HUM they say…

I am not going to make any resolutions.. if anything, 2009 has taught me to be more careful with my cash flow. We set our priority straight and decided to do this with a tunnel vision.. although I have been known to steer us away from our priorities.. hard lah.. so many nice things to buy.. :)

ANYWAY.. a couple of days ago, I came across a shoutout from a friend’s facebook.  There was some hearsay that if a man wants to shut her woman up, just throw some diamonds down her path. Of course, there were some comical replies but one (heheh there’s always one).

I will not quote anything from the threads that shoutout created but one guy in particular claims that, a woman who needs her bling are materialistic. If it’s true love, the said woman will look past jewelleries and monies and all material wealth. He even went on to suggest a certain race to marry as they prefer jade and he considers jade to be cheap..err ?? Yes I know..RED FLAG!

Not only has he insulted the rest of us women who wears a diamond ring, he has now even proceeded to be somewhat racist which I am sure he’s not aware of the latter.

The rest of us(male & female) tried to reason with him but obviously he was adamant about his opinion.

Sorry. That to me sounds like a typical MCP!

First of, the girl who you’re going to be engaged to, is not something you buy from a fish market. The girl has family who has brought her up well and hopes the man she marries takes care of her and respects her and loves her. The parents invested as much as they could afford of their child and you think they will welcome you with open arms with a $30 ring? Since we’re on a topic of diamonds, I find it highly insulting for someone who has no knowledge of his stones to be making remarks as such. When you tell him the reason diamonds are the dog’s bollocks, he tells you it’s because you buy them from Tiffany. When you tell him you don’t have to buy it from that  Turquoise Shop( Tiffany lah..) he then tell you about blood diamonds.. Yes.. darah up for sure (rises your blood pressure). I told this guy, he needs to do his research. There is a reason why you get certificates for your diamonds..and the experts can tell …but no.. MR MCP here knows best! If you go for diamond, you’re a calculating bitch.

Here’s where practicality comes in…

We no longer live in a world where the people in your village builds a house for you for free when you get married. You just cannot CANNOT live your married life without a source of income. You still have to pay extra 10 cents for more ice in your drink.. Expanding that horizon a little further.. what are you providing for your kids? First of, you’re showing your children how Daddy is living his life easy and that he was a lucky haggler having married his wife with practically nothing. Let’s live below our means and take the easiest route out.. Hell any tom dick and harry could do that! The children will then grow up with hardly any expectations, envious of others instead of thinking, they could do something to better their lives instead of thinking it’s limited cause Daddy said so. These children you raise will then be resentful of their friends who are successful and then try to find ways and means to bring their successful friends down a notch. Yes,.. you see the cycle.

Knowing how this guy was coming across.. it just angers me that he can make such statements. It was derogatory to women who deserves something nice, something to cherish.. If you can provide a comfortable home, a good life, a good future for your wife and children then no one can say anything right? But what kind of impression are you giving presenting someone’s daughter, with a $30 ring? I fail to see the humour in this. You love this woman and you are not even trying to do your best. I am not saying to start pulling a bank job and start getting a 4-6 carat rock but like I said, LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS. If useless having a 6 carat and no house either right?

On the other hand, I am aware some women demands a lot of things from their man. BUT that is not what I am discussing now and if you know me well enough, I am all for impartial opinions.

You know what. This is 2010 and I will speak my mind. Men Boys like that is what I would call an asshole.

Posted by: lanceress | December 30, 2009

No excuses

I didn’t mean to neglect my blog.. nor do I have any excuse for not updating it..

*distracted by a tv documentary showing a mummy tiger with her cubs..*

Posted by: lanceress | September 20, 2009



Posted by: lanceress | September 3, 2009

Random blahs

Everyone seems to be having more bad days than good.. Is it the wind? the year? the economy? the life changing events?

I hate feeling down in the dumps… but I hope..anyone out there who needs a listening ear.. I am always here :)

By the way.. is it just me or.. the lighter your bank account.. the more dental problems occurs? Thank god all my wisdom tooth are gone save for the 5th one that seems to be behaving herself.. (It’s a her because she’s bahaving)..

Anyway! just my random thoughts.. I thought I should pen them bit by bit otherwise it all stays in my head.. In all honesty? I cannot wait for 2009 to go…

Posted by: lanceress | September 2, 2009

Book of the year…hell make it the book of all times.

I would like to recommend all my friends to read The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. Please!! if it’s the one book you buy this year…let it be The Kite Runner!! I couldn’t put it down… It was not only an eye opener for me..but it’s made me realised A LOT A LOT of things without disclosing anything about the book.  The book is about the lives of two boys growing up. One, well to-do and the one, a doting and humble friend.  Sorry.. I really cannot give the summary without getting friggin excited about it.. Aiya…go and read the back cover lah…Please do not stupidly go and read the blardy spoiler or go into wikipedia .. Just TRUST ME!!! READ THIS BOOK!!!!!

AFTER you’re done reading the book THEN…and ONLY THEN… can you go watch the movie/dvd..

I have read both The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns and both are just so special in their own way…

A Thousand Splendid Suns- the movie is still in progress.. and that book..I could not put it down and basically finished reading it in 3 days. I absolutely could not put it down! Didn’t I say that already?!! I owe it to the author for sharing his gift of story telling to the rest of the world. So beautifully written… I wonder who could top that.A Thousand Splendid Suns

The Kite Runner

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